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Showing posts with the label Decision making

All the Reasons You Can

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I can tell when I'm in a self-protecting frame of mind when my first reaction to ideas and opportunities is the list of reasons why I can't. I'm too old, it's too expensive, I can't afford it, it'll never work, etc. ad nauseum. I'm not one of the people who suggest that ego is a bad thing. It's just a self-preservation mechanism that we all have. Its size is commensurate to the wounding it's trying to heal or prevent. Not bad. But we're creatures designed for growth and expansion, so there's a natural tension between the life force urging us into a greater expression of ourselves and the coping mechanism that's developed to keep us from harm and total abandonment. This tension has to be resolved in times when we're considering bigger options for ourselves than we've allowed ourselves to have before. I've said before I'm a fan of lists. To people who have an automatic impulse to find reasons why they can't I prescribe m...

When You Don't Know What You Want

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Some of the people in my life have been talking to me recently about not knowing what they want. They're transitioning out of situations they've been in for a long time and don't have a clear idea of what they want to do next. I also hear from kids who are getting ready for graduation, and they feel a lot of pressure to choose a track for their life, and they aren't ready to do that yet.  One of the few soapboxes I have is the removal of exploration and experimentation from permissible human experiences. There is pressure from within and without to know way ahead of time what we're going to do and how we're going to be before we can have even a reasonable chance to know. And there isn't a way to know without exploring and experimenting. A lot of my fellow coaches and consultants push clients in the direction of strategy and planning before people even have a clear idea of what they want. And then they think there's something wrong with them when those pl...