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Showing posts with the label Innate Well Being

Healing My Own Emotional Pain

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Trauma. The relationship ends, the baby dies, the firing happens, the illness takes over, the collectors call, the accidents happen, the abuse, crime, and calamity all take their toll. The nervous system goes into hyper-protective mode, senses heighten, adrenaline courses through the body, focus narrows, and for the time being, my defenses are up. Strangely enough, the pain doesn't arrive until later. When the dust has settled, and I'm left alone to process what has happened, then the pain comes. My mind is flooded with thinking - thinking about the loss, thinking about an unknown future, thinking about who's to blame, thinking about revenge, thinking about how I can manipulate the Universe, thinking about putting a gun to my own head. All this thinking keeps the pain alive, and feeds it. Behavior becomes impulsive. I yell at my kid, I curse at my wife, I become self righteous, I power up, I justify my actions because I'm in pain. My compulsions ultimately become futile...

Let the Water Come to You

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Long's Peak and Mount Meeker in the distance Yesterday I gave a talk at Unity of Fort Collins on the common thread that is shared by creativity, service, and thriving. I'll post the talk another time, but for now I want to share a parable that flew in as I was preparing. Before the Western U.S. was settled, an explorer made his way across the plains and found himself approaching the Rocky Mountains. He'd run out of water the day before, and he was looking for a water source. As he walked he met a trapper whose canvas water bag was full to almost bursting. He asked the trapper if he wouldn't mind filling his canteen. The trapper agreed. The explorer took a long drink of water, and he'd never tasted anything so fresh in his life. He immediately felt restored, and he asked the trapper where to find the source of the water. The trapper pointed at a faraway peak and said, "At the bottom of the highest peak there is a lake. That is the source." The explorer expr...

Raisin' My Vibration

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At Unity yesterday, Peggy asked me to give a short reflection on raising your vibration. I kind of giggled when she asked me because that language automatically taps on my woo woo button. I've had an ambivalent relationship with the Law of Attraction over the years. It seems to work really well for the people who teach it to others, but for those who are taught, I wonder??? In any case, I've had more than a few head scratching moments over the LOA. The idea that your vibration attracts your reality is an interesting one. I see friends who get so worried that having a low emotional state is going to wreck their entire lives that they don't realize it's the worry that's wrecking their lives. And the correlation that having a high vibration attracts to you all the stuff you want is also a bit strange. I know plenty of horribly miserable people who have everything they want. Their vibration appears to have nothing to do with it. So I decided to steer clear of the LOA in...

Fixin' to Fix My Fixation

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Yesterday when I was walking Vinnie, I realized that for the past several years I've been entranced by a fixation. This particular fixation is money. For at least the last 8 years I've been thinking about money, even when I haven't been thinking about money. Most of my waking hours are spent trying to figure out how to make more. It's the first thing I think about when I wake up, and the last thing on my mind as I go to sleep. This isn't the first time I've been fixated on something. In my late 20s through 30s I was focused on love and sex. My thinking was that if I just had love, my life would be OK, and love was translated as lots of sex. So I had a lot of relationships. I think the longest lasted about six months. Most were one date or one night. There was a flip flop pattern that went on for the duration in which I'd either be fleeing from someone clinging to me, or clinging to someone who was fleeing from me. I read a ton of books on getting and keeping...

Talking About the Weather

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The Earth's atmosphere is a marvel. This layer of gases that are drawn close to the planet by it's gravitational pull makes life possible. It sustains and protects, providing aspiration to biological life, and shielding the planet and all of us from extreme radiation, allowing through just enough light and heat to make the planet habitable. Within the atmosphere, there is a constant fluctuation of pressure and temperature and energy. These forces manifest as different kinds of weather patterns. In Colorado it's not uncommon to see a change in temperature of 50 degrees or more in a few hours time. The weather can go from a blinding blizzard to calm, clear and sunny in a matter of minutes, and then back again. Atmosphere and weather patterns come to mind as a metaphor to understand the relationship between mind, consciousness and thought, and how these principles work to create our personal experiences of life. There isn't really a well defined boundary between the atmosp...

Going Outside With the Dog

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Vinnie is our Teacup Yorkshire Terrier. Four pounds of world domination that has me wrapped around his tiny paw. Up until we got Vinnie it had been many years since I'd had a dog, and I'd forgotten some of the perks. Of course the main benefit is the love. He's always happy to see me. And I'm happy to see him. Coming into the house feels so good, every time. He is also an amazing watchdog, though only as intimidating as a little guy can be. He thinks he's way bigger than he is, but his bark is loud and shrill enough to wake even me at the slightest strange sound. Tonight I'm appreciating another sweet aspect of dog ownership, a greater frequency of going outdoors. I wonder sometimes if half of Vinnie's body size is his bladder. Given how much he pees on his walks, you'd think that he might have more than one storage unit. Tonight before he goes back to join my early to bed wife, he comes and nudges me, his sign that it's time, and we go out to the ba...