Posts

Grieving Lost Possibilities, Finding My Feet, and Moving On

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This is a long one. Interrupt your attention deficit and read the whole thing. Thanks. In December 2003, my wife, Monica and I welcomed a baby girl, Sarah Grace. The months leading up to her birth were filled with excitement and anticipation. Both Monica and I were at an age where we thought we’d never be parents, so we were both surprised by the possibility, and we couldn’t wait for our baby to arrive. The day she was born we were greeted with a reality we weren’t prepared for. Sarah was born with a chromosomal disorder called Trisomy 18, an extra chromosome on the 18th strand of DNA in every cell of her body that would make it more likely than not that she would die. Despite the challenges, she fought for every moment of life that she had. The days in the hospital are kind of a distant blur now, but there were hours in the NICU spent with my hand through a hole in the incubator giving her as much human contact as the machine would allow. Signing a Do Not Resuscitate order

Introvert, Party of One

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The past few years I've seen scads of products and services targeted to introverts. Selling for Introverts, Marketing Strengths of Introverts, Dating for Introverts, The Best Businesses for Introverts ...the list grows daily. I find it very interesting that I have not seen ONE product or service that is targeted to extroverts, except maybe those few that have to do with How To Deal With Your Introvert kinds of articles and books. Not one. This is a curious thing. I wonder if there is a market for things like The Benefits of a Rich Inner Life , or maybe How to Recharge Without Having to Drain People , or even Alone Time: A Guide for Extroverts . Is anyone but me seeing how ridiculous this is? Based on a tool that's about as scientific as a newspaper horoscope, all of a sudden introversion is a thing, and not only is it a thing, it requires remediation in a world that is largely extroverted. I'm not completely sure why Myers and Briggs and their ilk decided to use the

When Your To Do List is Too Much

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My 'to do' list is an experiment in wishful thinking. There are things on there from a couple of years ago. Every day there are more things. The great thing about living in this world is also the greatest challenge; there are so many things to experience...so many things 'to do.' A while back I realized that an equally important list for me is the 'to be' list. It's not about goals, activities, or accomplishments; it's about presence, grounding and renewal. With all of my interests, I'm constantly doing, often to the point of overwhelm. Originally these moments of overwhelm were the reason I created the 'to be' list in the first place, as a reminder to check in with my core being from time to time. What's happened since is that I focus more on the 'to be' list and the 'to do' list isn't so overwhelming, and by golly, those 'to do' things are getting done more frequently and to a high level of satisfaction.

The Gift of Connection

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Yesterday I drove up to Laramie for a music party honoring the life of Mark Booth. I only met Mark a few times, all memorable, but this story is more about his son, Michael. I can't easily forget the day I met Michael Booth; mostly because it's a fairly typical experience for people who grew up in Wyoming. Wyoming is more like a huge small town than it is a state. Sports teams travel as much as four or five hours to play rival teams. With a population of around 500,000, depending on the boom/bust cycles of the oil and mineral industries, there aren't many people per square foot, so everyone knows everyone, or at least they know the name. When I lived in the DC area I worked at the world famous House of Musical Traditions . They were kind enough to give me a job to get started with my life in a new area having just arrived from Nashville. One fall day I happened to randomly choose to wear my University of Wyoming sweatshirt to work. That same day happened to be the

Unstuck in the Middle With You

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Some friends I know who are recovering from addiction talk a lot about the bottom, the depth of depravity and desperation that they had to reach before they were willing to admit the problem at hand and seek help. I wonder sometimes if for many creators that an equally terrifying place is The Middle. When I first get an idea that I'm excited about, I can't wait to make it happen. The hyper energized state is fun, and the initial productivity that comes through keeps my focus and consumes time in gluttonous bites. Momentum is effortless, and I'm driven to distraction in any activity that isn't related. It's all I can think about. This beginning lasts until the inevitable Middle shows up. The Middle is usually heralded by a complication, an interruption, on an unanticipated obstacle. If you've ever encountered barre chords in a guitar lesson, you've met The Middle. Playing a barre chord requires greater hand strength than the open chords that were

Start

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My friend George's grandfather was fond of saying that the hardest part of exercising was putting on your sneakers. I'm still working on the exercise bit, but I'm also aware that the same principle goes for any kind of work. If I just sit down and start something it amazes me how easy it is to get into a flow state within a matter of minutes. Then minutes become hours, and those hours become satisfying in ways that otherwise don't happen. I don't care if you ever read what I wrote. I just had the best time writing it. The process was it's own reward. I'd like to cultivate a habit of starting. I know that sometimes it's good to finish things, but you can't finish what you don't start, and if you keep at it, some of the things that you start get finished. I remember when my first CD came out. It had taken 18 months from start to finish, and most of the songs had been written years before production even started. But I had put off beginning t

I Work For Courageous People

When I look at the list of clients that I have worked with over the years, the most remarkable thing to see that they all have in common is that they all possess tremendous courage. Whether they are teachers, authors, artists, poets, designers, musicians, dancers, entrepreneurs, or any others of the hundreds of people I've worked with, their lives are shaped by the courage within them that won't settle for anything less than a path that they carve out for themselves. It is humbling to be in their presence. To them it doesn't feel all that significant; it's just something they are doing. They get embarrassed if I imply at all that they are in the least bit courageous. Courage in their minds is reserved for firefighters and skydivers, extreme skiers and daredevils. What they don't realize is that their courage sets them apart from a large majority of the rest of the world. The author who writes every day despite not knowing in the least whether what he's writing